(Except that he's not actually fat, but it's funnier that way.)
There's this place at my school that for whatever reason is the big gathering place for the nerdy. Magic cards all over the place, PS2s with Disgaea playing scattered around, and, of course, nerds.
There's one in particular that is seriously just pathetic. I made the mistake of conversing with him before I knew of his tendencies to ramble and annoy severely.
He said to me "Oh, you also have a Toshiba laptop?" I nodded, thinking that would be the end of it save for another comment or accepting mumble. I was terribly wrong. He went into this five-minute rant about how much better his laptop was than mine and how much less he paid for it, until I, nearly driven to insanity by his awful nasally nerd voice, said I had to go to class and left.
After that, it was a while before he did anything again.
Lately, however, he has been approaching me and my group of friends, conversing with us like we give a flying fuck about what he's saying, which none of us do. He constantly shows up and asks what we're doing. We reply with simple answers, hoping he'll leave. Today, I was saved by my inner jocktard, as I was reading about the MLB playoffs this year (GO NOBODY, ESPECIALLY NOT THE CARDINALS, YANKEES, ATHLETICS, PADRES, TIGERS, TWINS, DODGERS OR METS), and when he asked what I was doing, I said "reading about baseball", and he left.
My friends and I always exchange groans of relief and exasperated queries as to why he thinks we even fucking like him when he leaves. It's quite amusing.